She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
