I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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