just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Randomize