It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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