There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
