I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
