Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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