I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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