phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We have so much sex to catch up on
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
