The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
