We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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