that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize