it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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