I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize