I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
