She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
