Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
