Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
