i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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