He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
