In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
someone get that fucking seahorse.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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