i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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