Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
