So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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