He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
