I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I have fence marks all over my body
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
