In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
