I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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