gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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