wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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