I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
