god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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