i would punch a child for taco bell
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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