Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
