Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
