Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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