I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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