Where are you?
In a non slutty way
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
