Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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