You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
