How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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