Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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