yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Randomize
