Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
