I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
