dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize