Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We named our party play list daddy issues
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
