The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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