Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You are the jesus of drinking
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
