How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
