so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
