Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
