I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
