What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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