We're like a lot better than the average bears
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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