too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
