so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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