Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
