i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize