Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(478): View more from Georgia

i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick

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(+44): View more from England

Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.

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(334): View more from Alabama

I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.

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(954): View more from Florida

I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.

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(705): View more from Ontario

You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.

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(954): View more from Florida

They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'

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(619): View more from California

yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work

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(850): View more from Florida

I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."

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