HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
