take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
