ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
