talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
