I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
