I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
